If You’re Good, I’m Good

Do you believe relationships are supposed to complete you, or reveal you?

In this clip from the 2024 Vancouver In Bloom conference, John and I spoke about the romantic myths so many of us are raised with:
“You complete me.”
“You’re my better half.”
“You make me whole.”

We’re sold the idea that relationships are here to fix or fulfill us, but what if that belief is part of what keeps us stuck?

We offered a different lens: What if relationships of all kinds are here to mirror us, challenge us, and grow us? What if our discomfort in connection isn’t a sign something’s broken, but an invitation into deeper work?

What stood out to you in the clip? Leave a comment below. I love hearing from you and I love creating a dialogue amongst community.

Here are some of our Key Takeaways:

• Codependency isn’t just a buzzword. It’s the water many of us swim in, shaped by culture, family, and gender norms that confuse enmeshment with intimacy.

• A quick self-check: Am I showing up authentically in this relationship—or performing peace to feel safe?

• The codependency mantra: “If you’re good, I’m good.” When our sense of self depends on someone else’s emotional state, we’re outsourcing our worth.

• Relational discomfort can be a portal. Instead of assuming something’s wrong, we can ask: What is this showing me about myself?

• Relationships are not rescue missions. They're reflections — opportunities to notice where we lose ourselves in the name of connection.

If this resonates, know you’re not alone in rethinking what love, care, and worth really look like.

Each month, my paid subscribers come together for a live Q&A session where we explore these kinds of questions in real time—unpacking patterns, sharing insights, and supporting one another on this wild, human path.

Let’s keep doing the work, together. 💚