Accountability Doesn’t Mean Perfection

Self-forgiveness as the bridge between responsibility and freedom...

Why do we sometimes find it easier to forgive others than ourselves?

So many of us carry an inner critic that keeps a running tally of our failures. We replay the moment we lost our temper, the email we forgot to send, the old habits or behaviors we slipped back into. Instead of seeing these moments as human, we use them as evidence that we are unworthy of love or belonging.

But here’s the truth: accountability doesn’t mean perfection. It means being willing to own our impact, to repair when necessary, and then to release the shame that keeps us stuck in the past. Self-forgiveness becomes the hinge between responsibility and freedom.

When we forgive ourselves, we’re not excusing behavior, we’re refusing to collapse into the ego’s lie that we are our worst mistake. That voice tells us: You are what you do. You are what you achieve. You are how others see you. If we’re only as good as our last performance, we’ll forever be hustling to prove our worth.

Forgiveness interrupts those lies. It brings us back to curiosity: What is this moment asking me to see about myself? As Jung reminded us, individuation is a lifelong process. No one graduates. We are all learning to hold the “both/and”: we can own our impact and still be worthy of care.

And something else happens: the more grace we extend inward, the more we can extend outward. When we stop demanding perfection of ourselves, we stop demanding it of others. Forgiveness ripples through the field of our relationships, creating more space for humanity, humility, and love.

Self-forgiveness is not indulgence. It is a discipline: one that strengthens our capacity to stay present, to keep showing up, and to continue becoming.

This reflection comes from Dené Logan’s class, Radical Accountability & the Collective Unconscious, class in the Inner Compass Academy. The waitlist for the next cohort is now open. Join us inside, we’re practicing radical accountability and emotional sovereignty in real time.