What If Your Triggers Were Invitations?
Insights from Shadow Work inside the Inner Compass Academy...
We often treat our triggers as enemies. They show up, uninvited and uncomfortable, and we scramble to push them away or rationalize them out of existence. But what if the parts of us that feel reactive, defensive, or even ashamed… are actually carrying wisdom?
In one of our recent Inner Compass Academy classes on shadow work, we explored how the very traits we disown (anger, jealousy, insecurity, neediness) can become doorways to deeper self-understanding. These parts don’t vanish just because we ignore them. They go underground. And from that place, they begin to run the show in ways we don’t always recognize.
One of the tools we offered in the class is simple, but profound:
The Mirror Practice
The next time you find yourself judging someone, whether it’s a stranger on the internet or your partner across the kitchen, pause and ask:
What is it about this person that activates something in me?
Is there a part of me I’ve disowned that this person is mirroring back?
For example: You might resent someone for being loud and unapologetic. But if you were taught to be quiet, agreeable, and selfless to be loved—then their boldness might be poking at your own exiled need to take up space.
This is the essence of shadow work. It’s not about shame. It’s about retrieval.
When we begin reclaiming the parts we’ve cast out, we start to integrate a more whole version of ourselves. Shadow work doesn’t mean letting those parts take over, but learning to be in conscious relationship with them. That angry voice in you? Maybe it’s trying to set a boundary. That needy part? It might be the remnant of a child who never felt safe to ask. Retrieval is an act of compassion, not indulgence. It’s how we stop letting our shadow parts hijack our behavior from the backseat and instead, invite them into the conversation.
Reflection Questions:
What’s a recent moment where you felt disproportionate anger, irritation, or defensiveness? What might that reaction be pointing to in you?
Is there a quality you admire in others but feel like you’re “not allowed” to express?
These are not questions to answer once and be done. They’re doorways. And if you walk through them, you might find parts of yourself you forgot you lost.
So… what do we do once we become aware of something?
Awareness is the first step, but not the last. Once you notice a pattern, the invitation is to pause before the habitual response. You don’t need to fix or shame the part that showed up. Instead, you might say: “I see you. I hear you. You’re not bad. What do you need?”
This is how the unconscious becomes conscious.
Not by force.
By relationship.
And with time, you’ll find that what used to trigger you becomes something else entirely: an invitation to be more fully yourself.
Our next cohort for the Inner Compass Academy begins September 14. Spaces are limited and applications are open now and I’d love to see you there.