Who Did You Have to Stop Being to Be Loved?

Reclaiming what was lost...

Shadow work isn’t about fixing what’s wrong with us. It’s about reclaiming what we’ve hidden, exiled, or disowned, often in the name of survival.

In a culture that rewards performance and punishes vulnerability, we learn early which parts of us are “acceptable” and which parts make us too much, too sensitive, too needy, too loud. The unwanted parts don’t disappear. They go underground, becoming part of what Jung called the shadow, and they start to shape our lives in subtle and not-so-subtle ways. The tone we use with our partner. The envy we feel toward a friend. The “overreaction” we can’t explain. It’s all data. But most of us were never taught to read it.

That’s part of what we’re here to do inside the Inner Compass Academy. Shadow work is one of the foundational classes in the program, and for good reason: it’s where we begin to see ourselves more clearly. Not just the parts we’re proud of, but the parts we’ve had to hide in order to feel loved, accepted, or safe. We create a space where those exiled pieces can come into the light, not to be judged, but to be understood.

In this class, we started with the reminder that shadow isn’t just “the bad stuff.” It’s anything we weren’t allowed to be.