The Art of Objective Observation

A Path to Self-Growth

“How do I stop feeling stuck, like I’m constantly taking two steps forward and one step back in my personal growth?”

This is a question I get often, and my answer always begins with the idea of objective observation. Personal growth can often feel like a dance of progress and setbacks. One day, you’re soaring, and the next, you feel like you’re back where you started. But what if setbacks weren’t really steps backward? What if they were part of the learning curve?

Objective observation is the practice of stepping outside your immediate emotional experience and seeing yourself as if you were watching a character in a movie. By doing this, you gain distance from emotional reactions and can identify patterns more clearly. For instance, when a familiar argument with a loved one resurfaces, instead of getting caught up in the emotions, you might ask yourself: What role am I playing here? What patterns are repeating?

This practice isn’t about dissociation but cultivating a skill to view yourself with curiosity and compassion. Progress isn’t linear. Every perceived step back is part of a larger growth spiral, teaching us something valuable. For example, if I find myself repeating a mistake, instead of labeling it as failure, I try to consider what new aspect of the issue I’m being asked to address. Often, the most profound growth comes from revisiting old patterns with new awareness.

To make this a habit, I recommend keeping a reflection journal. At the end of each day, write about a moment where you felt challenged. Describe the situation as if you were an outside observer. What did you notice about your reactions, choices, or emotions? Over time, these reflections can illuminate patterns and offer clarity on areas for growth.

This objective viewpoint also helps dismantle the inner critic. By observing your actions without harsh judgment, you can separate your behaviors from your self-worth. This compassionate detachment makes it easier to address mistakes constructively rather than spiral into shame or guilt.

Objective observation also builds emotional resilience. Life’s challenges become less overwhelming when you’re able to step back and view them as opportunities for learning rather than insurmountable obstacles. This perspective empowers you to take proactive steps toward change while maintaining a sense of balance and self-compassion.

Actionable Tip: Dedicate five minutes at the end of each day to reflect on your actions as if you were watching a character. What did they learn today? What could they do differently tomorrow? Over time, this simple practice can transform how you perceive and navigate personal growth.

Join me for our next live Q&A session on January 21st at 6 PM PT—a subscriber-exclusive event. This is a chance to ask questions, share your experiences, and gain deeper clarity on what boundaries mean for you. Together, we’ll uncover the skills and strength to reclaim your boundaries and create healthier connections.