Have you ever felt like you’re constantly “working on your reactions,” trying to catch yourself before you snap, spiral, or shut down—but still feel like you never quite catch it in time?
This clip, taken from one of my retreats, dives into a moment of clarity I had around that exact experience. For years, I kept asking myself: Why can’t I stop the escalation before I hit a 10? I thought I needed better tools. More mindfulness. Tighter control. But then, in a conversation with a friend, something clicked. Maybe I’m not reacting “out of nowhere.” Maybe I’ve been living at a 5 my whole life without even realizing it.
For those of us with trauma histories or heightened nervous systems, that mid-level hum of stress can start to feel like a baseline. But when you live at a 5 or 6 all the time, it doesn’t take much to push you over the edge.
So the question shifts: What would it mean to learn what zero actually feels like?
And maybe even more importantly—how do we stop blaming ourselves for not catching what was never that far from the surface in the first place?
Our April live Q&A session for paid subscribers is happening 4/24 at 11am PT! This is a chance to ask questions, share your experiences, and gain deeper clarity on what boundaries mean for you. You can also submit any topic or question for me to cover ahead of time.
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